AM I STUPID?

I've had people come to me and say they just cant get the right response to give in a conversation, be it confrontational, formal or jovial; then few minutes later, a seemingly perfect response pops up but unfortunately, the conversation was sealed minutes earlier!


Yeah, it happens to all and sundry and do I need say that its about 30% okay to be in this position! If you find yourself in this kind of situation, dont shoot yourself yet, you might be a bit slow in responsiveness but it might be a virtue depending on the kind of boss or superior you work with.


When you dont have much to say, it may be a sign that you are not the person for the job, you have one or two deficiency in vocabulary or you are simply afraid. If you fall within the first two, good for you because you can brush up your skills through training and courses but if you fall on the last item (fear), I think you need to start your own personal business.


In any argument or discussion, it is noted that party A will want to gain territory over party B, vice versa. the first one to notice the opponent's weak point will build on that weak point to drive its point(s) home. and in Nigeria, many tends to apply the fear syndrome in doing this. Hence, if you tend to let that fear get to you, YOU CAN'T FLY!


So, what do you need to do? You may think you have done this or heard it before but listen again, Get your facts sorted before you go in for the confrontation!
Next, get to know who you are facing! Sure there is a first time for everybody, the first time you face that person might have been hell for you. If you are wise, let that experience teach you one or two things about that person. Who is she/she? Does he/she like you to respond immediately? Does he/she likes it when you dress well (sounds odd but dont underestimate it). Get to know more, dig deeper and have them handy on your second encounter with such person.


It is okay to keep your mouth shut if you dont know what to say, better to look quiet that to sound stupid and incompetent. If I am your boss and you dont respond, I will ask myself, has there been a recruitment error or do I need to train you further. But if you went on rambling and blabbing, it is a pointer that you are a recruitment error.


The long and short of it, never stop training yourself, we dont know it all, dont wait for the firm to send you on training, invest on yourself, surprise your firm by updating your skills! Dont just sit there and wait for the next training schedule. Expand your view on issues and be of a wider coverage. 


Next, be prepared to face the other party, it might be on the phone or in person, be prepared always.


Next, itemise your facts, sort yourself out if you have the time. I will respect you if you are organised and easy to follow.


I wish you the best in understanding your boss!


Regards,


Femi Oke